NEW YORK, NY -- Infant Megan Tung has, in a surprise move, acquired the famed investment bank Goldman Sachs. Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein stated: "Ms. Tung clearly has a surplus of saliva, which is literally a liquid asset. Considering that she has a surplus of these assets for the foreseeable future, we are more than willing to accept these drool-based securities in exchange for our currently illiquid mortgage-backed securities." Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson hailed the deal as a glimmer of success in an increasingly dark economic picture: "We are quite thankful for the intervention of Ms. Tung to the benefit of Goldman -- we sincerely hope that more Wall Street firms will be willing to trade toxic debt for body fluids."
Ms. Tung had no comment, other than a soft "eh" and a quick hiding of her head in her mother's hair.
1 comment:
Hey, why not.
Bovine pulmonary surfactant is marketed as survanta by Abbott. If there's a market for cow snot can't be surprising there's a use for baby spit.
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