Four reasons why the Patriots cannot win the Superbowl

1. Tom Brady would be allowed to get any woman in the continental US pregnant.
2. Randy Moss' car would have parking attendants as rim spinners.
3. For the rest of our lives, drunk Boston sports fans would be completely insufferable (except you, Bill), especially if the Celtics are any good this year. "Nomah!"
4. Belichick would be become Pope.

Put your division game weekend predictions in the comments.